You’re Asking the Wrong Question

Thanks to Social Bridge and A Silver Voice from Ireland (both are from Ireland) for pointing me to this interesting, insightful writer. Enjoy! ~ Linne

Red's Wrap

Jan - Purple 2

I’m sorry. Let me say this in the kindest possible way. Asking me what I will do to stay ‘young at heart’ as I get older is ageist.

Why would anyone assume that it is better to be young at heart than old at heart unless being old at heart implied a lot of unpleasant, undesirable things. Of course, that wasn’t the intention. Assuming that young is better is a deep cultural belief, one that is, unfortunately, absorbed by many people as they age, making them mourn their younger selves rather than enjoying the age they are.

I was already young at heart when I was young. Then I was middle-aged at heart and now, I think, I’m probably old at heart. And I’m here to tell you, all of you 40-somethings filled with dread about the future, it’s more interesting over here on the other side than you might…

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8 thoughts on “You’re Asking the Wrong Question

  1. Youth is most certainly wasted on the young because it is coupled with all of those raging hormones, that incredible self doubt and a thin razor sharp tang of fear that just won’t quit. As you age (hopefully gracefully unlike me) the world starts to make sense and the bits that don’t can be compartmentalised with the other bits that piss you off including the “bill” section of your brain, the “politics” section, the “bad relatives” section and the “news” section. I would like to add another bit to that list as of right now…”the American spellchecker that insists that I spell words incorrectly!”… you can see these things with both hindsight and the clarity of experience and there is no WAY on God’s good earth that I would return to “me” at age 16 willingly. If I ever woke up (like Tom Hanks in Big) in my younger self’s body with my brain today, I think I would probably hide in my wardrobe for the next 10 years! Age might not have bought me beauty, grace or wisdom but it certainly gave me hindsight and that, my dear, is a very VERY good reason to get old 😉

    • Well, without the raging hormones, the human race would likely die out (on my worst days that looks like a workable proposition); the self-doubt and fear I could have done with much less of . . . too bad we don’t have self-compassion when we are young, eh? I expect I’m ageing about as gracefully as you claim to be doing, Narfie. I feel just as I always have; then I go by a large window outdoors or a mirror indoors and it’s all “who the heck is THAT?” lol

      I like that I have a sort of gestalt comprehension of how it all works; the problem is more in the wee daily details . . . and in myself . . .

      I think you can turn that spellchecker off, actually. Or at least have it not make automatic replacements. My new iPod does that and I hate it! often uses a word that’s not even close to what I was saying . . .

      I think hell would be waking up in this body with the brain I had at 16 . . . I could do with having my younger body back and this brain in it . . . not for looks (I was never more than plain and gawky); but back in the day I could jump onto a horse bareback, no worries (once I was showing off while showing a friend how to mount bareback and actually went right over the horse, landing on the ground on the other side! nothing hurt but my ego, which needed it 🙂 )

      I go back and forth between wanting to live a very long time (so many projects, so many supplies, so many things to do and learn . . .) and not wanting to end up lonely, frightened and neglected. I’ve seen a lot of that. But if I could function well right to the end, then keel over in my garden or the woods somewhere, or even in my bed, that would be fine. We’ll see, I guess. I think sometimes I’m anxious because I can see some of what’s coming down the line . . . Still, I’ll aim for getting very old and do my best to be prepared; then I’ll take what comes with, I hope, a modicum of grace . . .

      • I guess I can’t have had much of a good childhood (can’t for the life of me remember much of it!) as I am sure if I did, I would want to return there but I am happier here today than I have ever been before in my life. I am staying put 🙂

      • Some traumas seem to wipe out memory, and maybe that’s a good thing. I’m not sure I’d want to go back to exactly my childhood; more to how I felt then and to the body I had when I was younger and could ride bareback everywhere, climb trees, walk forever, etc. I miss a lot about my earlier life, but not everything. If I had to go back and be that person again, I doubt I’d take it on. I was unhappy and fearful so much of the time, mostly due to not understanding myself well (or at all) and so always trying to be someone I’m not. It’s easier nowadays. I’m glad you’re happy where you are; that’s the absolute best! ~ Linne

      • I figured out the glitch; I was checking comments on my phone and the link didn’t show up there. It worked fine here, though. Thanks again. He’s too much, eh?

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I look forward to reading your comments. ~ Linne

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