A short, mixed, update

My dear friends, I am grateful for your on-going support, prayers, etc. I’m not sure if I will have time to catch up with all the comments, but please know that I have read them all. In the meantime, the most important news is this:

My Mum had a good day on Wednesday, 13 April (which was the year anniversary of the day my Aunty and I moved into the new condo). She was in good spirits, laughing and joking with staff and teasing often; she was the self that I love so well. She had ice cream for lunch and dinner both, following her own advice:

‘Life is uncertain; eat dessert first!’

She woke around 3 am and we talked a little, holding hands, then both went back to sleep. It was, therefore, with a certain amount of shock that I woke at 6 to find she had left us . . .

There were some interesting things about the date. As I said, the day before was a year since her older sister and I moved to the condo where the three of us planned to have some fun. But it was not to be.

The day after, 15 April, was both her own mother’s birthday and the day her older brother died (he was very close to their mother, who died far too young, leaving children from 2 to 20 years of age). Of the ten children, only one is left and she is 91 in a couple of weeks. I’m selfishly hoping she is around for a while.

In a way, her passing was not unexpected, but we had all hoped that when she chose to go it would be from her home, not the hospital. But, as John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans . . .”

It’s been just over two weeks now and a big adjustment for my RN sister and myself. I have begun sorting through my things and packing. So far there hasn’t been much to dispose of, as most of what I brought with me was supplies for working on here. I’ve been going through my Aunty’s things, too. Not easy, as most of you will know.

The one year anniversary of my Aunty’s death was on the 26th and that week was full of memories, joy and sadness. This week, I am moving toward a proper schedule so that I will be ready to leave by the end of June. I will stay with my friends the Crafties for some time so that I can deal with my things in the container and the storage unit here, then begin bringing my stored things from BC to go through. I can only hope they are in decent condition after all this time. I’m not planning beyond those things for now. I will be doing some knitting and crochet soon and that will help. Being creative is always soothing for me.

I’ll be writing a proper farewell to my Mum soon, too. There is a lot to say when someone has lived over 90 years.

In the meantime, those of you who fell in love with the Bavarian crochet might love the pictures that accompany this workshop ad:

http://www.craftsy.com/class/bavarian-twisted-stitches-projects-techniques/10171;jsessionid=F78E1ED80A2548075AA2251A686C39F5.cure000?ext=DonnaDruchunas_10171_H&utm_source=Donna%20Druchunas&utm_medium=Instructor&utm_campaign=General-Course%20Activity&initialPage=true

And, although these lyrics are meant to salute the veterans of WWII, I feel this song by Runrig is a suitable accompaniment for my feelings just now:

To me, that song is about the passing of an entire generation, to whom we owe so much. I am grateful for the years I had with my parents and especially the past 17 years with my Mum. I am sad beyond my expectations, but there is joy, too.

Much love and many blessings to each of you. I will be back to more regular posting soon and I’ll see you on the bright side!

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28 thoughts on “A short, mixed, update

  1. Linne, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how close you were to your mother. II hadn’t heard from you in a while and thought I’d see if you posted anything recently, and I come here and find you have been through so much and it’s turning your life upside down again. I will have to see why I’m not getting updates. I do hope you are getting along better now as I see I am quite late at expressing my condolences.

    • Sorry this is so late, Lois; I hope to do better in the coming year. Thanks for your understanding. I rather felt as though my home had burnt down, as it wasn’t only Mum that I lost. All the daily things like dishes, pots and pans, furniture, etc. were hers as I left my things in storage for the most part so that her home wouldn’t be taken over by my stuff. Besides, Mum had similar stashes to my own and needed her space for those.

      I’m doing better now, I think. I’ll be posting soon, too, and will be over to catch up with you a bit as well. Big hugs and I hope you are keeping warm. It’s been pretty cold in Tacoma for the past couple of weeks. ~ Linne

      • Don’t apologize! I completely understand. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you to be surrounded with all your mother’s things for so long. I know things will continue to get better for you and my wish is for next week to be the start of your best year ever. Hugs, Linne.

      • Thanks, Lois, for your kind words. The hard part wasn’t being surrounded by her things; it was having to part with them (they are, after all, not mine, but part of the estate). I’ll feel better once I am surrounded with my own things again, partly because so many of them are just like hers.

        Thanks for holding that good thought for me; I am doing the same for you. Now that I’m rested up a bit, I’m ready to make this a good year. Love and hugs back to you. ~ Linne

  2. Sorry to hear you have lost your mum x. It doesn’t matter what age, or under which circumstances, it is always hard to lose a mum. I miss mine still. My thoughts and wishes are with you x

    • Thanks, Kym. You are so right; no matter how old they are, we seem to always want one more day, and then another day . . . I suspect that is true of anyone we love, though. Ièm sorry your Mum is gone; she must have been quite young. I will always miss mine, too. So often I see or read about something and want to tell her . . . sometimes I tell her anyway; we never know for sure that those who have passed on ccanèt hear us. Thanks for your thoughts and wishes; they will be welcome for some time, as the move is not going to be easy, even though very welcome.

      • Kym, so nice to hear from you! I hope your move went well and you are all settled in by now, gardening? and getting ready for Christmas. I’m not looking forward to the dusty, grimy part of going through my things, but I am looking forward to seeing my favourite items again and this time I look forward to using the things I collected for my retirement. As my fabrics are in storage in BC, I have bought a teal cotton remnant at the local Jo-Ann store and hope to find some hot pink for a lining; once I have that i plan to finally make that tea cosy you so kindly posted the pattern for. I know, I’m a bit crazy when it comes to crafting, but it’s in my blood . . . Big hugs to you. ~ Linne

      • Hi Linne, can you believe we are moving again in two weeks! Looking forward to settling and no more boxes. Can’t wait to see your tea cosy 😍

      • Hi, Kim. Once again, sorry this is so long in coming. No, I can’t believe you have moved AGAIN! But I do know the feeling. I hope this was a welcome move; at least that makes it easier. And, of course, if most of your things were still packed LOL. I do hope it all went well and that you are settled and happy in the new place by now. Nothing better than getting to the point of no more boxes, is there?

        Did you have time to put in a garden or did you simply leave it for next spring?

        I still have not begun on a tea cosy, but I have fabric washed and ironed ready for making a couple of simple T-dresses and at least one pair of matching slipper-shoes (sort of a Mary-Jane style). Once the cosies are completed, I will be posting and will let you know via your blog.

        Are you happy to be heading into autumn, with more time for creative ventures? I hope so. Hugs from our late-spring season . . . ~ Linne

      • Sorry Linne my blog didn’t show your comment and I have just come upon it. Well life has not quite gone to plan and we have moved again! This time we have moved back to our house in the city. I have been enjoying my garden but not the unpacking lol. I look forward to seeing your creations x

      • Oh, Kym, I’m sorry you had to move again. Quite disheartening, isn’t it? I have unpacked nothing yet; instead I’ve put things INTO the storage. so much for planns. I do hope you are all settled now. I have yet to begin the cosies but they are still on my list. Maybe now the harvest is over and snow coming tonight

    • Thanks, Jull. There is certainly a lot to celebrate; Mum outdid me in the crafting department, and Dad was no slouch, either, teaching himself stained glass, among many other things. My parents were foster parents for some years, too, taking in a variety of babies and toddlers; working to give them a good start before they went to a permanent home. Mum learned to knit, crochet, hand stitch and embroider before she started school and taught me all of those by the time I was ten. She taught herself basket-making, spinning and weaving and much more. Most of those came after all nine of us kids were out of home, when she had more time. She and Dad worked together renovating old houses, too. I will be posting about them more fully at some time, but have been too busy so far.

  3. I am so very sorry for your loss. Sounds like beautiful memories will help to warm your hearts in the coming days and weeks. ….hugs! My thoughts are with you. ♡♡

    • Thank you, Jan. Memories do help, for sure. But itès a long journey when you have been as involved as my sister and I. Full-on 24-7 for me over the final five weeks, then a full stop and a 90 degree turn, it felt like. Almost like emotional whiplash, if you know what I mean. But itès getting easier now. Getting ready to move back to BC is both exciting and daunting. That was always the plan, but I had expected to move sooner and along with Mum. Still, I will be near my sister and we will both like that, I think. Thanks for your thoughts; I appreciate that so much and the loving energy is most welcome.

  4. Your mum was a lovely lady Linne and I am sad for you, that you have lost her physical presence. As Narf said, a hospital is just a building and the fact that you were with her and she knew it is very special. She was happy and went peacefully and for this you can be very grateful. What a wonderful life – ninety years! Many younger than me are passing now and so I treasure each day. It’s all about love isn’t it – the stuff really isn’t important. Thank you for updating us, you have been in my thoughts for a long while.

    • Thank you, Pauline. She talked about that Skype session with you even in the last week. She always wanted to know the news and it was good to show her your photos on her computer monitor, which is an oversized tv flatscreen. She could see it even from her bed when she was a t home. In the hospital, I would just bring your posts up on my phone, but then the pictures were pretty small for her. I am so grateful to have been with her; like my Aunty, she was with someone who loved her, not alone and not frightened. That is what I wanted for her.

      It is about love; stuff is only a reminder and a holder of vibrations. Imposrtant to some, not at all to others.

      Mum knew you were thinking about her and so did I; Good thoughts carry such healing and strengthening energy, I think.
      ièll be over for a visit before too much longer. Love and hugs to you, Pauline, and to Siddy and Orlando.
      Hope your winter is going well.

  5. I wish I had read this post before I commented on the last one :(. You and your mum had a wonderful relationship Linne. You were with her, as her companion, for a long time and were with her at the end which probably meant more to her than you will ever know. Hospital is just a building. The love that you and your mum shared was more “home” than any building that could ever house you. Wherever you are going, whatever you are doing, please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you now. Hugs and love wafting over the ocean from all of your friends xox

    • No worries, Narfie; That is life. (I know that reads awkwardly, but for some reason, when I use the apostrophe key, it prints an accented e Laptops!! sigh . . .) WE did have a good relationship, although I did not see my parents much for over 30 years. Parly living on the Island (Vancouver Island) for so long. Yes, Ièm very grateful to have been with her at the end. I was thinking the other day that I was the first and the last of her children to hold her hand and that made me feel good.

      You are right about hospitals just being buildings, too. But Mum wanted to be among her own things and we were not able to bring any except one pillow to her room due to infections, etc.

      Thanks so much for the thoughts and prayers; I will need them for some time to come, I think. I can feel the love and caring and that takes me through the ups and downs so much. All of you in the Village are in my own thoughts and prayers, too, and that is also healing.

  6. I’m so sorry for your loss, Linne. It will take a great deal of time to move forward. You take care of the material details but the emotional details take a lot longer. When my mother passed, I felt like someone had unplugged me. I was spinning out of control not knowing what to do next. When you have been a caregiver for so many years, you don’t quite know how to live your life for yourself. It takes awhile and hopefully you can give that to yourself. I’m still sorting through things. It does get better. My mother only made to a few months shy of 75. Still miss her.

    • Thanks, Marlene. It does take time, doesn’t it, especially when you’ve been so involved on a daily basis, as my sister and I were. I know just what you mean about feeling unplugged. I have had days of not being able to get things done; even reading has fallen by the wayside for some time now. This is the least I’ve read since I was four years old.

      You are right about being a long-term caregiver, too; it’s so worthwhile, but shifting gears isn’t easy. I think in some ways I thought my life would go on as it was forever. But of course life is full of change, whether expected or not. I’ve been thinking about Plan B for some time now, as I knew I had to be prepared, but things hae still not gone as I thought they would. I will be moving back to BC to be near my sister and the last of our Aunties, who lives in Abbotsford, BC, where I was born. But the vacancy rate is 1% so onlie searching has not been productive yet. I’m now looking at travel trailers, whick I would like (I’ve lived in similar ways before), but most are very expensive. in the meantime, there is sorting going on here, too. It’s so poignant, handling something, feeling the memories and knowing that there won’t be more in this life. But intellectually and spiritually I’m ok; it’s just that the emotional growth and healing takes time and can’t be leapt over.

      My Dad was only 75 when he died and it seemed so young, especially as I’ve worked for/with so many people in their 89s and 90s who were doing fine, just needing a bit of support. I wish I’d had more time with Dad, but am grateful for what I did have. It’s never enough, somehow. I’m glad you find it gets better; in the beginning I had trouble remembering that; now, nearly three months later, it’s getting easier and the memories bring laughter as well as tears.

  7. Oh what precious memories you must have Linne xox I feel so very sad for you but I can see your mum knew how much she was loved by you. The fact you were with her at her passing would have been a comfort for both of you. Hugs and love from me xox

    • Thanks so much, Cathy. I do have lots of good memories, in spite of being so far from my family, both geographically and lifestyle-ish, for a long time. I’m glad I had the past years; four months with my Dad still here and then the following seventeen years. I was so grateful to be with her and to have those final moments . . . The memorial will be held for both Mum and Dad on the 16th, next Saturday, and then it will seem more final, I think. So many memories here, with all the things Mum made and collected. But it’s good, even when it brings tears. Hugs and love much appreciated and lots of the same back to you, too. Hope your winter is going well.

      • It’s a lovely cold and wet winter Linne. Just what this part of Western Australia needed to top up all the dams and make the crops grow well. I like the seasons to be the way they’re meant to be 😃

      • That sounds like our Wet (West) coast, Cathy. I’ve missed rain often in the years I’ve been here. As you say, great for crops. And easier walking than snow and ice…

        I agree, the seasons should be as they were meant to be… here, though, we’ve had more cool and rainy weather than normal, but it was a fairly dry winter, so this is good for our crops, too, I think. Although maybe not the hay and canola (rapeseed) harvests. I’m not missing the high temperatures we usually have; not as high as yours, though. Usually low to mid-30s C.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I look forward to reading your comments. ~ Linne

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